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    December 1st, 2007

    Two Lights Above the Sea

    Two Lights Above the Sea by V.M. Bell

    Summary: Narcissa Black’s wedding day is filled with doubt. Oneshot, 1,540 Words.

    Why You Should Care: Lucius Malfoy has picked his side in the war, and Narcissa Black calculates the risk of becoming a widow too soon after she becomes a wife.  She is tempted — and reasonably so — to abandon the life and love she has chosen with Lucius in favour of something safer, something not so precariously balanced on the edge of a knife.  Bell does fairly well getting into Narcissa’s head in this time and place, and of honouring her character and the relationship between Narcissa and Lucius, and when she does so with a poetic twist of phrase is where this fic really shines.

    Why You Might Not Care: The dialogue between Narcissa and Lucius is a little flat, to be honest.  I would have preferred a little more of the character we see in the narrative injected into the dialogue for a little more “show, don’t tell”, but what’s there does do the job.  There are also a couple of places where the sentence structure could have been made less awkward with the use of some higher level punctuation.  Over all, I get the sense that the author of this fic is pushing at her limits a little bit, but trying to be better at something you love should never be considered a bad thing.

    posted by afterthree

    One Response to “Two Lights Above the Sea”

    1. AML Says:
      December 1st, 2007 at 12:31 pm

      I agree the dialogue was somewhat off-key. The fault, however, lies in Lucius and less with Narcissa (but who am I too judge). In this scene they are 21? 22? Lucius reads as too masterful of this thoughts at his life stage. Granted, the war matured him beyond his years but I like to think there was a younger, more princely boy and less kingly man that came before the later Lucius. (aha! more like Draco!)

      But Narcissa’s doubt about midwar marriage read true to life, as you point out. She knows the inevitable; she will be a mother, and war guarantees an uncertain future for children’s parents, and therefore the child. I thought this came across nicely in the story,

      Thanks for the rec!